29-year-old woman co-owns house with sister, freaks out when she refuses to co-sign loan on it: 'I don't think I can trust her'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 15, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Living with anybody can come with its fair share of problems, and sometimes, having family members as roommates is worse than cohabiting with random strangers. When you live with friends or people that you don't really know that well, you normally don't feel as much of an obligation towards them despite bad behavior. In contrast, this is often not the case with anybody you're related to, and it can make any disagreements that much more difficult to work through.

Things get even more complicated when it comes to the topic of money. Mixing family members and finances is frequently a struggle, and even more so if it relates to the place that you live. You can't choose how fiscally responsible your family is and if this is a weakness of theirs, they may try to make it your problem. More often than not, the best thing to do is stand your ground.

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    Cheezburger Image 10479824128
    via Pablo Merchán Montes (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This is exactly what one woman was trying to do after her older sister proposed something unexpected about the house they inherited and co-owned. Asking her to sign off on taking a loan out against the house, she refused to specify what she wanted to use the money for. 

    This alone raised suspicions for the younger sister, but she also knew that her sibling was bad with money and didn't trust her to use the loan wisely. She refused to give her blessing and wanted to make sure that she had done the right thing.

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    Cheezburger Image 10479824384
    via Vitalii Khodzinskyi (Unsplash+)
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    AITA for refusing to sign for my sister's loan after she tried to do it behind my back?

    So, I (F, 26) and my older sister (29) inherited a house from our grandparents a few years ago. It's a two-family house, and both of our names are on the deed, so we both technically own it. We've been living together ever since, though we've had our fair share of arguments about the place over the years. A few days ago, I found out that my sister has been trying to take out a loan against the house. She didn't tell me about it, so I only found out after seeing some paperwork with both our names
    via Realistic_Project704
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    I told her if she wants to take a loan out on the house, she needs to buy me out. I'm not comfortable with her using our shared house as collateral without me being involved in the decision. But she got mad and said, "You're being dramatic. I'll take care of the payments, you don't have to worry about anything. Just sign the papers, and you won't have to do anything." The thing is, I know her. She's been irresponsible with money in the past ―missing credit card payments, struggling to pay rent,
    via Realistic_Project704
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    She got really defensive and told me I'm being selfish and not supportive. She said I should trust her, that she'd never let the house go. But honestly, I don't think I can trust her with something like this, especially since I know how bad things could get if she misses a couple of payments. Now she's mad at me and calling me unreasonable, saying I'm trying to sabotage her and that I'm just being difficult for no reason. So, AITA for refusing to sign for this loan and telling her she needs to b
    via Realistic_Project704
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    People advised her on how to proceed.

    Candid_Process1831 NTA! Let here buy your share of the property and then she can do whatever she wants. If she wasn't honest from the beginning then for sure she got something to hide! Take care
    via Candid_Process1831
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    Realistic_Project704 OP I won't sign anything till i know what's going on! I already contacted my lawyer to se what I can do to protect myself in case she does anything stupid and also which i hope she won't be able to.
    via Realistic_Project704
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    Accomplished-Emu-591 Please tell me you have checked your credit and locked it down. Be sure you formally inform the lending company that you will not sign any loan document and if they have anything with your signature on it that it is a forgery. After trying to go behind your back to get a loan, the only thing you can trust your sister to do is cheat you. NTA.
    via Accomplished-Emu-591
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    lurninandlurkin NTA Lock down your credit until this is sorted.
    via lurninandlurkin
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    Realistic_Project704 OP Yeah that's also a reason I contacted my lawyer to get information on what i need to do and look out for to be protected in case she does anything. I don't know to much about this stuff. Thanks for the info will definitely look into it!
    via Realistic_Project704
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    frivolous-lola NTA!!! don't sign, protect yourself and stay clear of the mess. It's really suspicious that she gets defensive when you try to know more about her need for a loan, if you're gonna be involved it's perfectly acceptable to know what you're in for. Also be thankful this is happening early on, this is a telltale of way worse things that could come your way. I'd look into buying her share and keeping your assets separate from her. If possible, that would be a much safer way to help if
    via frivolous-lola
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    asafeplaceofrest NTA - stand your ground, and what kind of "stuff" does she need to buy? If she needs a loan, she can go to the bank and get a consumer loan. If she can.
    via asafeplaceofrest
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    messageinthebox NTA. She will f you the second she can.
    via messageinthebox
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    Oren_Noah The MOMENT she said "trust me," you knew the answer.
    via Oren_Noah
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    Anxious-Routine-5526 NTA. You're being smart and protecting yourself. Your sister is already being shady and shown she can't be trusted. It sounds like the time has come for one of you to buy the other out.
    via Anxious-Routine-5526
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    Jerold62712 She already signed your name? Under no circumstance condone that and contact the loan officials and tell them that you found some people with with your name forged and they should be particularly careful.
    via Jerold62712
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    DanaMarie75038 NTA. Be careful with your sister. Keep track of your credit. She might forge your signature.
    via DanaMarie75038
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    Future-Nebula74656 NTA. Looks like you've already contacted your lawyer so you should be good with the start of this
    via Future-Nebula74656
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    Playful-Sprinkles-59 NTA. Of course you should contact your attorney! I am glad you have. Let me ask you, if your sister needs the money so bad, are you able to buy her out? This might be an opportunity. But if you do, make sure she is not allowed to live in your house. Rent the other side out. This way she won't ever take advantage of her half again.
    via Playful-Sprinkles-59
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    aquariusblack NTA and make sure that you inform whatever bank she's applying to for the loan that if any paperwork shows up with your signature that it's been forged. Depending on how desperate she is to get the loan, she might take that step. Monitor your credit as well. She tried for this loan behind your back in the first place. You don't take chances.
    via aquariusblack
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    Performance_Lanky NTA Her credit rating has almost certainly tanked, so using the house as collateral is her only option. One of you buying the other out, and changing the deed to a sole person, or selling the house and splitting it 50/50 are the only stress free options. Otherwise you're going to be ever vigilant of her taking a loan out against the house.
    via Performance_Lanky
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    GCU_ZeroCredibility You're seriously under-reacting. She tried to commit a felony that would have screwed you over. Not signing the loan is literally the least you can do.
    via GCU_ZeroCredibility

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aita house sisters loan argument family sister reddit thread Reddit entitled people
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